What should you do if your child runs away ?

Do some quick checking.

• For example, contact your child's best friends and a representative of her school to find out the last place where she was seen, the places she usually goes to and the people she hangs out with. Check his room and the house to identify any items he may have taken with him.

Inform the police as soon as possible.

• As soon as you have enough clues leading you to believe that your child has run away, call 9-1-1.
• A police officer will visit you to collect all the information needed to trace your teen. This police officer will produce an event report with a reference number that you should use when you contact the investigator assigned to your case. In addition, the SPVM will circulate the runaway notice to all police departments in the province.
• Posting a runaway notice demonstrates that you love your child but that you do not agree with their decision and that you will not let your child remain in a situation that could be dangerous.
• Reporting a runaway to the police doesn't necessarily mean that your child will be taken in charge by the Youth Protection Division (Direction de la protection de la jeunesse, DPJ). DPJ caseworkers only become involved when a child is in a compromised situation, that is, a situation that compromises his safety or development and from which his parents can't or don't want to protect him.

Keep searching for clues.

• Check your home.
• Contact your child's friends and talk to their parents.
• Contact the members of your extended family.
• Call or go to the places you child hangs out.
• Contact the resources that can help you find your child, such as the Missing Children's Network, Parents en marge de la rue or any other similar organization.
• Contact resources that provide shelter for young people, such as En marge 12-17 and The Bunker, to find out whether they have seen your child.

Prepare to negotiate the return.

Take care of yourself and your family.

• Take care of your physical health as well as your psychological health. Speak to your friends. Take the time to relax. Spend time with the people close to you.
• Seek help, if necessary (consult a resource).

If your child has run away, remember that you are not the only person who has had to face this problem. Don't isolate yourself: ask for help.

What should you do if your runaway child calls you ?

Make sure he's or she's safe.

• Ask closed (yes-no) questions, such as "Are you safe?" or "Can you talk freely?" Ask him for as much information as possible about the danger and the place where he is, so you can help him. Pass this information on to the SPVM by calling 9-1-1.

Keep contact and remain calm.

• Avoid blaming her, making promises, using threats or blackmail, insisting, if she refuses to tell you where she is, or going to look for her yourself if she is in a shelter for minors.
• Name your emotions (e.g., concern, anxiety, sadness).

Try to understand why he ran away and find solutions.

Suggest telephone appointments if she doesn't want to come back.

Suggest meeting him in a neutral space.

What should you do when your child comes back again?

Call 9-1-1 to tell the police your child has returned.

• A police officer will meet with you to confirm the child's location and close the file.

Stay in control of your emotions. Don't let your emotions get the better of you in discussions with your child.

Welcome your child.

Open the door to communication and look for solutions.

• You can contact your neighbourhood CSSS to get help from professionals.

If necessary, think about different options for the return.

The best way to avoid having your child run away again is to find a solution to the problems that the initial flight brought to light.

To find out more

For a detailed version of this advice, please download "Coming back to stay" in pdf format.